For Sale

SCANNER FOR SALE: 

More information can be found HERE.

Killing The Man

As I mentioned previously, one of the games at Sarah's Bridal Shower entailed the dismemberment of a newspaper "man."  In my defense (if excuses are necessary - I think the whole activity is hysterically entertaining - everyone gets EXTREMELY competitive), I did not invent this game.  Moreover, though I've played this "game" a number of times, this was the first time I constructed the "man."  I don't think it's one of my "special skills."

Here's what he looked like when we started (special thanks to Shirleen for the addition of the duct tape facial features and necktie and most particularly the lovely digits):

Here's what happens when a bunch of women get a chance at butchering an effigy full of prizes with flatware:

Kindly disregard the ear-splitting, high-pitched guffaws and the ad nauseum exhortation to "Keep Goin'!" that SOMEONE bellowed right into the camera.  Ahem.  Oh - and it's not strictly necessary to watch all twelve+ minutes of this fine film...

Compressing the film gave the picture an Impressionistic quality, it seems.  Unfortunately, the audio seems to be completely unaltered.

April Shower

In early April we threw a sparkly, butterfly-bedecked Bridal shower for Sarah.  A violent good time was had by all (or they were too scared to say otherwise).  It was your typical sort of Utah shower: We ate delectable refreshments (including BYU mint brownies - the best thing EVER invented at the Y), played the "Robert" game (a trivia wonder - I may publish a compendium of the "man" games I've written over the years as they are very informative or something), we ripped apart a man fabricated from newspaper in order to access the fabulous prizes contained therein and the last stalwart attendees competed in the construction of wedding ensembles from toilet paper, trash bags and napkins (held together with straight pins and masking tape - HINT: Straight pins make Sarah hold still(er)).

FANCY!

Sarah received lovely gifts, too.  A hearty thanks to everyone who attended, thought about attending,  helped with the shower, gave Sarah pretty things, gave Sarah useful things and gave Sarah "interesting" things.  You are most appreciated!

BONUS: If you'd like to play the home version of "The ROB Game," click HERE.  If you post your answers (by letter) in the comment section I'll even check your work.

Register THIS!

If you know Sarah, you know that she is delightfully whimsical, creative, colourful and incapable of making a decision in less than, say, ten hours.  Or days.  I exaggerate, of course.  Somewhat.  Granted, it is very difficult (and stressful) to make all the decisions necessary to put together a wedding - completely overwhelming - as anyone who's gone through it would admit it they were to be honest.

Now, don't tell her this, but I have my ways of convincing Sarah she's made a decision herself when I have actually influenced her rather strongly to make that particular choice.  This takes a great deal of research ahead of time before you actually step foot in a a store.  Sarah and I had some very important shopping to do while her Mother was working double-shifts and her Grandmother was out of town.  I really think we nailed it.  And I'm going to guess that while Robert is perhaps not ENTIRELY interested in all the shoes for various purposes, the "Shapewear," the vagaries of crystals and dress fitting, he will be, indeed, grateful at the fine work we accomplished at Victoria's Secret (in the store - three days in a row - and online).

The first task at Victoria's Secret was to get a WELL-FITTING BRA for the wedding dress.  It's true that 5000% or so of American Women wear the wrong bra size, but Sarah's - uhm - endowment (?) makes it particularly difficult.  And though I know she has been with her Mother and Grandmother to have bra fittings, it was patently obvious that none of the information had sunk in.  This is when I get über-businesslike.  I walked - nay, MARCHED, into the store, accosted the first responsible-looking sales-person I saw (she even had a measuring tape hanging about her neck), pointed to Sarah and said, "Measure her.  And we need a WHITE bra with FULL COVERAGE."  She hopped right to it.  And within half an hour we had two white bras that fit as well as a bra can possibly fit Sarah (especially considering that she's in-between both band AND cup sizes) and I'd had no less than THREE of the store employees "checking the fit" of various choices - in fact, she was measured WITH clothes and by someone else WITHOUT.  In other words, I had her poked and examined by as many "official" people as were available.  But it was good thing.

I'm thinking that a little bit of the information might even have stuck, especially since I now constantly hound her to "pull your bra strap down in the back!" and "you PROMISE you are not sleeping in your good bras?"  Yes, the mystery of her rapidly-failing bras was revealed.  She slept in them.  And who knows how she washes them.  We solved this problem with the purchase of several packages of three-for-ten-dollar "sports" bras in which she may sleep.

This was not the FUN stuff, mind you, hence our visits back on the following two days (and considerable time online).  The girl is SET UP with lingerie.  And as I was involved, there's real silk.  Also there was a well-researched and hefty internet coupon  and we took advantage of sale prices on many usually much more expensive tiny little items.

TANGENTIAL ALERT!  That wasn't to be the point of this post. Too late. 

Okay.  The gift registries.  The first time I got online to examine Sarah's registries (all four of them) I was almost apoplectic with disbelief.  She's been told to duplicate from registry to registry, but she had duplicates ON THE SAME REGISTRY. And she had, I believe, no less then ten sets of dishes scattered throughout the lists, and two of those were very expensive china.  Moreover, on ONE registry she had three sets of flatware (very expensive).  At the same time, she did NOT have, for example, a broom.  And I couldn't not find a colour that her kitchen was NOT (and that doesn't count variations of shades/hues).

You won't we seeing THIS anymore...

When I first mentioned these things to her, I had to remind her that I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings; I understood that she and Robert had been under time pressure and no one's decision-making skills are at their best in those circumstances. Moreover, the people that help you with the registries will tell you STUPID THINGS.  So, she agreed to let me help her consolidate some things and slim down the list in a few categories.

Last night, though she was exhausted, she was very good about letting me help her pare some things down a bit so they might actually end up with vaguely affordable dishes and flatware (we hope) and she has fond wishes for some of the nicest things they really want.  So if you look now (though changes are still in process), you will not find the twelve place settings of Philippe Deshoulieres fine china at $250 per place setting (let's not even mention how expensive the serving pieces were).

Now, since I'm the presumptuous one writing this blog, I will direct you to the disclaimer at the bottom of the page and give you some hints about things they'd really like to get.  One item should be patently obvious because it is on ALL FOUR REGISTRIES.  And the colour is "Empire Red" and it is not cheap (but it's on sale at Target and at JCPenney I think you get a certificate to mail in for a free accessory).  At JCPenney there's also a great knife set that's more than half off it's original price.  Mind you, they need everything, so ANY household basic would be useful indeed. And, speaking as a formerly married person: GOTTA LOVE THOSE GIFT CARDS!

Shoes

I don't want to be blatantly sexist, but as I believe men do NOT understand how important multiple pairs of shoes are to everyday life, I'm more than certain they are DEFINITELY not going to get how important they are to a wedding. So far I've been involved in helping Sarah get six pairs of shoes for the "big day." Granted, one pewter pair will either go back or go to her Mother, but the rest all serve a purpose (so far, anyway). And all six pairs of bridesmaid shoes came yesterday from DSW (wrapped BEAUTIFULLY, I must say). They look like this:

I really like them (and that has NOTHING to do, I assure you, with the fact that I found them on 75% off AND I got FREE SHIPPING AND an additional $10 off the entire order).  They are patent-leather in a most lovely and subtly shimmering hue of pewter.  And COME ON: Peep-two sling-backs with a gore on the back strap for a better fit.  I also think the heel stylish, indeed.

Fairy Rainbow Unicorn Princess

Janet (my younger sister) and Amy (her dear friend and part of the amazing photographic team who took the engagement pictures of Sarah and Robert that are not yet public) have taken to calling Sarah by the aforementioned nickname, "Fairy Rainbow Unicorn Princess."  

I think Amy came up with it.  I feel it does capture Sarah's whimsical nature.  

Interestingly, both my father and I responded upon first hearing the name with the comment that it was missing, "Butterfly."  But it still captures her essence, I think.